Emo blog
Hipster side bag
Snarky remark
Sarcastic wisecrack
Too tight jeans
We're in the scene
We have seen
Everything
Ironic mustache
Gram of blow
We're going to the Mt St Helens Vietnam Band show
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
POWER CHORDS FOR THE LORD: A poem about Christian Josh
Christian Josh likes to mosh
to the sounds of the Jesus rock
with a crucifix
in the prayer circle pit
he slams and speaks in tongues
blast beats for Jesus
power chords for the lord
slam dancing with the holy horde
to the sounds of the Jesus rock
with a crucifix
in the prayer circle pit
he slams and speaks in tongues
blast beats for Jesus
power chords for the lord
slam dancing with the holy horde
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Update! Part 2
Oops, I left out one of the best racist jokes....
Q: What did the racist order at Taco Bell?
A: SPEAK ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Q: What did the racist order at Taco Bell?
A: SPEAK ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Update!
I just thought of this one. Its kind of dry so prepare yourself with a glass of water.
Q: Why do tweekers love heavy metal music?
A: Because it sucks.
Q: Why do tweekers love heavy metal music?
A: Because it sucks.
RACIST JOKES
Tonight I was hanging out with my buddy Collin and we decided to tell some racist jokes. Jokes about racists that is. There's not very many jokes about racists out there so here's what we came up with. Please note that all uses of racial slurs are from the view point of the racist and are used for the benefit of the joke. Okay, here goes...
Q: Why was the racist scared of Halloween?
A: Because he heard that's when the spooks come out.
Q: Why did the racist leave the renaissance fair?
A: He heard there was a chink in his armor.
Q: Why did the racist cross the road?
A: Because there was an African American family walking down the block.
Racists weren't the only victims this night. We also had quite a few laughs at the expense of frat boys and tweekers. Here's a few other jokes we came up with.....
Q: Whats the difference between a tweeker and a zombie?
A: Zombies eat.
Q: Why do frat boys wear baseball caps?
A: To keep the jizz out their hair.
Q: What did the tweeker and the hockey player have in common?
A: They're both white guys with mullets on ice.
Q: Whats the worst part about going to a frat party?
A: Getting raped.
Q: Why did the tweeker cross the road?
A: Giant spiders.
Q: What did the frat boy magician say when he pulled a rabbit out of his hat?
A: Ah-bro-ca-da-bro
Q: Why do tweekers prefer to have sex doggy style?
A: So they can both peek out of the blinds.
Q: Why did the frat boy wear a condom?
A: So he wouldn't leave any evidence.
Q: How did the tweeker lose five pounds in one day?
A: Picking scabs.
And my personal favorite...
Q: How many frat boys can you fit in a hummer?
A: It depends on how many roofies shes had.
Q: Why was the racist scared of Halloween?
A: Because he heard that's when the spooks come out.
Q: Why did the racist leave the renaissance fair?
A: He heard there was a chink in his armor.
Q: Why did the racist cross the road?
A: Because there was an African American family walking down the block.
Racists weren't the only victims this night. We also had quite a few laughs at the expense of frat boys and tweekers. Here's a few other jokes we came up with.....
Q: Whats the difference between a tweeker and a zombie?
A: Zombies eat.
Q: Why do frat boys wear baseball caps?
A: To keep the jizz out their hair.
Q: What did the tweeker and the hockey player have in common?
A: They're both white guys with mullets on ice.
Q: Whats the worst part about going to a frat party?
A: Getting raped.
Q: Why did the tweeker cross the road?
A: Giant spiders.
Q: What did the frat boy magician say when he pulled a rabbit out of his hat?
A: Ah-bro-ca-da-bro
Q: Why do tweekers prefer to have sex doggy style?
A: So they can both peek out of the blinds.
Q: Why did the frat boy wear a condom?
A: So he wouldn't leave any evidence.
Q: How did the tweeker lose five pounds in one day?
A: Picking scabs.
And my personal favorite...
Q: How many frat boys can you fit in a hummer?
A: It depends on how many roofies shes had.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
His name is Buzz Lightyear. His name is Buzz Lightyear.
The first rule of drunk club is you must get drunk and ramble about drunk club.
The second rule of drunk is no seriously, no no listen, you don't even know, seriously.
The third rule of drunk club is that there are no rules, except that there are.
The fourth rule of drunk club is that if someone pukes, steps in a puddle of urine or drunkenly confesses an embarrassing secret, you must laugh maniacally.
The fifth and final rule of drunk club is, if this is your first night at drunk club you have to piss foot fight.
The second rule of drunk is no seriously, no no listen, you don't even know, seriously.
The third rule of drunk club is that there are no rules, except that there are.
The fourth rule of drunk club is that if someone pukes, steps in a puddle of urine or drunkenly confesses an embarrassing secret, you must laugh maniacally.
The fifth and final rule of drunk club is, if this is your first night at drunk club you have to piss foot fight.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
special request
Last Saturday I was hanging out with some friends getting drunk on alcohol. One of them left and gave the rest of us the impression that he would be coming back to the bar. After a few hours he still hadn't returned. I said maybe we had misheard him, thinking he said "I'm going to come back here" when in actuality he might have said "I'm going to comb my back hair." Tim suggested I should put that in my blog so there you go.
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