Are you thirstin more?

We here at THIRST-TEA are proud to introduce to you or first "celebrity" spokesman, Mr. Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth.
"Hi, I'm Thurston Moore and I'm thirsty. Are you thistin too? Are you thirstin more than me? If so, you should drink THIRST-TEA for all your thirstin needs."

Thirst-tea celebrity endorsement blooper!

After the initial launch of THIRST-TEA into the market I realized that sales were a wee bit sluggish. At first I attributed it to the piss poor economy (have you heard about that shit? It's all over the news) but then i realized that you need celebrities to sell pretty much anything in this country. My first choice was ECLECTIC APPROACH but they wouldn't return my calls. After more failed attempts including Linkin Park, N'sync, Hootie And The Blowfish, The Vague Prophets and Juicebox I decided to set my aim lower. Thats when I had the idea to get John Lennon from The Beatles to do it. I figured hey, the guy's got no fucking credibility at all, he'll be begging for a chance to hop on the gravy train. Tragically, my ASSistant BENdover Allen recently informed me that John Lennon died "like four years before you were born or something." Regardless, I decided to take the opportunity to cash in and exploit one of the least significant figures of popular music by naming THIRST-TEA's first flavor after the talentless hack. Thus, THIRST-TEA John Lemon was born!

Are you thirstin?

Recently I was somewhat hungover (ugghh, i'm never drinking again) and was n need of a refreshing beverage to help destroy the hate in my brain (dukka dukka dukka). I went to the store to get a tasty beverage and found I couldn't decide between iced tea and gatorade. What was I to do? On one hand I craved the awesome taste of iced tea but i also yearned for the hangover reducing qualities of gatorade but without the weird taste of warm camel urine. I decided at that time to take action and invent the world's greatest drink. I would combine the awesome taste of iced tea with the awesome power of electrolytes and all other kinds of space age hydrating technology. Something that would like hella quench your thirst and shit and taste like tea. The name, THIRST-TEA!