
Monday, March 23, 2009
Eclectic Approach

Are you thirstin more?
We here at THIRST-TEA are proud to introduce to you or first "celebrity" spokesman, Mr. Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth.
"Hi, I'm Thurston Moore and I'm thirsty. Are you thistin too? Are you thirstin more than me? If so, you should drink THIRST-TEA for all your thirstin needs."

"Hi, I'm Thurston Moore and I'm thirsty. Are you thistin too? Are you thirstin more than me? If so, you should drink THIRST-TEA for all your thirstin needs."
Thirst-tea celebrity endorsement blooper!
After the initial launch of THIRST-TEA into the market I realized that sales were a wee bit sluggish. At first I attributed it to the piss poor economy (have you heard about that shit? It's all over the news) but then i realized that you need celebrities to sell pretty much anything in this country. My first choice was ECLECTIC APPROACH but they wouldn't return my calls. After more failed attempts including Linkin Park, N'sync, Hootie And The Blowfish, The Vague Prophets and Juicebox I decided to set my aim lower. Thats when I had the idea to get John Lennon from The Beatles to do it. I figured hey, the guy's got no fucking credibility at all, he'll be begging for a chance to hop on the gravy train. Tragically, my ASSistant BENdover Allen recently informed me that John Lennon died "like four years before you were born or something." Regardless, I decided to take the opportunity to cash in and exploit one of the least significant figures of popular music by naming THIRST-TEA's first flavor after the talentless hack. Thus, THIRST-TEA John Lemon was born!


Labels:
beverages,
celebrities,
endorsement,
john lennon,
lemon,
sarcasm,
tea,
the beatles,
thirst,
thirst-tea
Are you thirstin?
Recently I was somewhat hungover (ugghh, i'm never drinking again) and was n need of a refreshing beverage to help destroy the hate in my brain (dukka dukka dukka). I went to the store to get a tasty beverage and found I couldn't decide between iced tea and gatorade. What was I to do? On one hand I craved the awesome taste of iced tea but i also yearned for the hangover reducing qualities of gatorade but without the weird taste of warm camel urine. I decided at that time to take action and invent the world's greatest drink. I would combine the awesome taste of iced tea with the awesome power of electrolytes and all other kinds of space age hydrating technology. Something that would like hella quench your thirst and shit and taste like tea. The name, THIRST-TEA!


Labels:
alcohol,
best friends,
beverages,
camel urine,
tea,
thirst,
thirst-tea,
thirstin
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Ben and Joe's BROmantic getaway part 3


Labels:
beer,
comedy,
death,
dinosaurs,
martin lawrence,
porno,
starbucks,
time travel,
toil
Ben and Joe's BROmantic getaway part 2

Next stop, France. After all the fun we had at the magic kingdom, we decided to try to soak in a little culture. Paris was truly amazing despite the fact that the people there talk funny and are all faggy and stuff. We decided to pay tribute to one of France's greatest icons Pepe Le Peu by trying repeatably to rape a cat.

Ben and Joe's BROmantic getaway part 1
Last week my girlfriend Sarah went to Missouri for six days to visit her family. To help fill the hole in my heart left by her absence, I turned to my friend and fellow vague prophets band mate Ben for support and companionship. We had a lot of great times and wacky adventures together that week. I thought it would be nice to share some photos and stories with everyone of what will surely be remembered by me as one of the most magical weeks of my life. This is us at Disneyland. We had a really great time here. We went on all of the rides, TWICE! I ate so many funnel cakes I almost barfed on the tea cups! LOL!

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